Imagine an argument you've had with either a child or significant other, one that spins out of control and get's pretty heated. Keep this in mind while you are reading the interaction described below. The interaction might be triggered by your child not doing something, not taking the trash out, or moving too slowly, like while getting ready for school. The interaction can also be triggered by your child doing something undesirable. Do you recognize the pattern?
“Coercion refers to a sequence of interactions between the child and parent. The sequence includes actions and reactions that increase the frequency and amplitude of angry, hostile, and aggressive behaviors. The sequence may begin with an argument over some action that has or has not been performed. It intensifies through verbal statements (e.g.: yelling, swearing) to more intensive actions (e.g., hitting, shoving). Ultimately, one person gives in or backs away from the interaction. In other words, the high-intensity interaction of one person ends the aversive behavior of the other person." (Kazdin)
Basically, Person A (the child in this case) in the interaction responds to a parental action (comment, limit, etc) with mild hostility. Person B (the parent) responds with mildly hostile behavior. Person A increases the level of hostility as the interaction continues. Person B increases hostility as the interaction continues. Person A increases hostility high enough to cause Person B to discontinue their hostile behavior. The discontinuation of Person B's hostility inadvertently rewards / reinforces the use of Person A's hostile behavior.
Note: it's not recommended that either person persist in using hostility instead of discontinuing the interaction. It's also important to know the outcome can be reversed, in which case Person B "wins" the interaction and is inadvertently rewarded for using hostile behavior. Who ever is the person in charge, is responsible for disengaging from the argument and calling for a short break to cool things down. After cooling off period, the adult invites the child to enter into a conversation that will solve the problem in a mutually agreeable manner: win-win, instead of lose-win or win-lose.
“In the context of oppositional and aggressive behavior among children … Several [adult] practices are known to foster child deviance, particularly child aggression. These practices include:
- attending to and reinforcing deviant child behavior,
- using commands excessively,
- using harsh punishment,
- failing to attend to appropriate child behavior,
- engaging in coercive adult-child interchanges,
- and failing to monitor children (e.g., their whereabouts).
This research has established that adult practices can directly foster and increase aggressive child behavior.” (Kazdin, 2005, p. 167)
Bibliography:
Kazdin, A. E. (2005). Parent Management Training: Treatment for Oppositional, Aggressive, and Antisocial Behavior in Children and Adolescents. New York: Oxford University Press, Inc.
