Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts

Getting to the “Hurt of the Matter ❤️”

Getting to the “Hurt of the Matter ❤️”

When you get angry with your partner, spouse, close friend, etc., the most likely reason is because your feeling were hurt by something the said or did.  

Anger is such a powerful and rapid emotional response that it sweeps the hurt feelings away and presents a strong bulwark of self defense. 

If you can pause for a moment, take a step back and consider, you might be able to find the hurt again and discuss the real problem. 

This approach is preferable to and more constructive than mutilating your loved one under a barrage of rage. 

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Surely this tidbit is worth a $1.

Send #Bitcoin. 

Bitcoin address: 3PiHR1XsRqrpX4vKuKBbXKqM9fVLRpvoTa


Nothing Less Than Your Very Best

 

I use to work inside this horribly depressed, angry, agitated company. 

Ironically, it was a mental health facility. 

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I’ve never seen so many employees return from meetings with a particularly abusive senior manager crying. This is super duper HR fail. It is a super senior management team fail. It is a super leadership fail. And, it is a super big board of directors fail.

But it was not just this one toxic senior manager.  It was the organization as a whole. I’ve never seen so much inter-personnel animosity. I’ve never seen so much wide-spread demoralization anywhere, at any company I’ve ever worked at over my decades of work experience. 

This was quite simply the worst place I have ever worked. 

The senior manager, although super abusive and toxic, wasn’t responsible for the wide-spread demoralization and hostility throughout the company. He certainly was injecting a ton more yuck into the company, but he didn’t touch all of its moving parts. There was a much larger organizational problem. Ironically, he was screaming at people about not meeting productivity requirements.

#Morale matters. Everything floats on morale. Productivity isn’t improved by yelling.  Morale isn’t improved by yelling.  Employee absenteeism, tardiness, and retention are not improved by yelling.  Just the opposite, in fact.

Nothing is improved by yelling. 

At the time, I was navigating a super stressful life adventure. My wife had died (#Cancersucks) and I was raising our young sons by myself. I was so, so far out of my comfort zone and my zone of competence at home every single day for years and years. 

So, what did I do?  I quit after about three years, but before that every morning before going into work, I sat in my car in the parking lot looking at the office building getting my head straight, getting myself psyched up before entering the building. I did the same thing before every rugby game I played in college. I was determined to only bring positive professionalism into the building - my very best. 

My colleagues deserved nothing less than my very best. 

I did the same thing on the way home from work, letting go of the daily stress I’d accumulated and getting my head straight before going into our home. 

My sons deserved nothing less than my very best. 

Of course, I’m a flawed human so … it didn’t always go well, but when it didn’t I’d regroup, consider where I’d gone wrong,  what the contributing factors had been, and create a corrective action plan.


K. H. Little Consulting Services
Kenneth H. Little, MA
cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com


Arriving Home ...


When you arrive home from work ... your family should be happy to see you.

Contemplate this.

Part of my professional perspective has been informed by my personal parenting adventures, or more accurately - misadventures.  (Ask me about the popcorn incident some day.)  It's truly amazing what one can learn by living fully immersed within the situation one teaches about.

Just briefly, my wife died when our two sons, Jake and Braden, were 4 and 5 years old.  She had been struggling with cancer for quite a while and as she became more and more debilitated, I took over more and more of what had been a beautiful shared parenting partnership.

I won't go into the gruesome details, but ... my transition into single parenthood was not a fluid, seamless process. 

There were some very real struggles for me as I adapted to the solo role.  Sometimes, these struggles spilled out onto the boys.  It wasn't pretty.  The first lesson I learned was how to regroup quickly and frequently. My recovering time shortened remarkably. But the challenge did not end.

 

More later.

Calm Down and Take Space!


Anger management

If you want your children to be able to take space in order to calm down, you will need to be very good at taking space to calm down. 

Parenting is leadership by example.

More on this soon. 

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