Education: Improving System Success

It's not the fault of the teachers.

It's not the fault of the parents.

It's not the students ...

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You can always tell when a system is in trouble when blaming exceeds problem-solving.

Let's stop blaming and get on with the work of solving.

For many children, the public school system works just fine.  For some, the curriculum speed moves to slowly; for others, it moves too quickly.

To solve this, how about if we match curriculum speed to each student's unique learning speed?

Students should be able to gain 90%+ mastery on every single learning unit from kindergarten on before seeing the next learning unit.

Children who move forward with less than 90% mastery have ever increasing learning gaps accumulating as they move through the grades. Can they get away with 80% mastery?  Yes, but it's not a preferred outcome.  Can students get away with 70% mastery?  Every now and then, but if kids are chronic B-C-D students, while moving forward in the grades, they are developing ever expanding learning gaps making academic and emotional failure more and more likely.

We should shoot for at least 90% mastery on every single learning unit to ensure that all students - every single one -- understands each learning unit complete, that each has achieved mastery.

No, this does not mean holding fast learners back. Fast learners can be given the next learning unit as soon as they gain 90% mastery on the current unit.  Fast learners can zoom ahead, as quickly and as far as they desire -- to infinity and beyond!

Does this harm slower learners?  No, not at all.  They will be able to achieve 90%+ mastery on every single learning unit, something that they never have the chance to achieve in the current educational paradigm.

We cluster children according to their chronological age.  Chronological age is the least relevant criteria for clustering children into educational environments, while subject specific neurological readiness is the most important.
 
We know this, but still cluster children according to age and expect some to scurry along desperately trying to keep up, while simultaneously holding fast learners back; and then scratch our heads when children lose interest and under-perform.
 
Why we do this is a mind boggling mystery. 
 
Curriculum speed needs to consider specific student factors, including family factors.
 
I do not blame teachers.  I understand that teachers are trapped in the exact same system students are trapped in, and that teacher performance is also negatively impacted by the system within which they are trapped. 

Kenneth H. Little, MA / 603-726-1006 / KenLittle-NH.com 

Behavioral Process: Step by Step

Rule #1 Believe that “children do well if they can.”  If they aren’t doing well, wonder why that is - what is interfering. 

Establish realistic expectations that the child is, in reality, capable of achieving.  Expecting something more than what the child can actually achieve is highly likely to result in failure, increased behavioral difficulties, and to foster a sense of ineffectiveness, helplessness, and worthlessness.

Implementation Dip. 

• When you begin a new intervention .. expect things to get worse first.  
• It all works best if the process is entered into collaboratively -- with parent and child / teacher and child in agreement. 
• Let child know what is changing before beginning
• If you change your approach / style and they don't know why, it can make kids anxious and defensive. 

Visualize Success. 

• What will success look like?  
• What are you trying to accomplish?
• What is your purpose?
• What are your short, mid-range, and long-term objectives?
• Flip negative behaviors into their positive opposites.

Move Toward Success Slowly, Progressively, Patiently, Persistently.

• Practice patience.
• Be persistent in your effort to achieve success. 
• Gradually, thoughtfully shape behavior through successive approximations.  
• Expect set-back, ups and down; regressions happen. Behavior is not linear.  When the going gets tough, people regress.  
• Be practical -- close enough really does count. It never needs to be perfect.  We are working a practice to mastery activity.     

Analyze the Task / Situational Demands.

• What are the required steps
• Environmental factors
• Time of day factors
• Competing  factors
• Where is the breakdown?

Evaluate Skill Level.  

• What skills are fully developed
• What skills are partially developed
• What skills are not developed

Assess Developmental Stage: challenges should be matched to developmental capacities.

• Cognitive
• Emotional
• Biological
• Chronological.  Age is the least relevant in terms of developmental capacities, especially in school.  Each child follows a unique developmental trajectory moving at it's own pace.  Age does not tell us anything about ability.    

Develop Behavioral Plan Collaboratively (parents and children)

• Identify problem
• Generate potential solutions
• Choose the best solution
• Implement plan collaboratively (parents and children).
• Launch plan
• Monitor progress
• Evaluate Outcome

Reward & Celebrate Successes. 

• Partial success
• Proportional success (e.g.: minutes success v. minutes of failure, etc.)
• Tangible rewards
• Intangible rewards

Analyze & Celebrate Failure. 

→ Return to step 1, as needed.

Critical Components

• Be Optimistic
• Be Supportive and encouraging.
• Do not criticize.  
• Emphasize mastery: Practice to improve / practice to mastery / practice never makes perfect

Anger:

• Anger is normal / natural / helpful.  Anger tells us when something is wrong, when there is a problem we need to attend to.  
• Anger can inspire action. 
• Anger can lead to determined effort.
• Everyone gets angry
• Too much anger is bad - build an anger management plan

Anger management activities must be implemented prior to reaching the threshold of anger.  As anger increases people become increasingly irrational.  To intervene with anger plan, the intervention must happen before the brain dissolves into an irrational mass of goo. 

• Adult initiated 
• Child initiated

Kenneth H. Little, MA / 603-726-1006 / KenLittle-NH.com

Say Yes, as Much as Possible

Say Yes!  

Right from birth, you will want to create the belief in your child's mind that life is filled with endless opportunities and possibilities, that the limitations are few.

This is accomplished by saying yes, a lot.

By saying yes, you can teach your children that life is filled with opportunities and possibilities, teach them delayed gratification and impulse control, anticipatory planning and problem solving skills. 

You don't have to start when they are brand new infants.  If you missed the opportunity when they were newborns, Begin, Wherever You Are.

Saying no to children diminishes both the child and the possibility of nurturing this belief. Saying no to children creates a belief in their mind that there are fewer opportunities and possibilities, that they can not do.

OK, I hear your concerns. This is not a recommendation for an unbridled free for all. The idea is to parent intentionally, with a healthy outcome in mind, not to create thoughtless tyrants.  We can say 'yes' and 'no' thoughtfully, judiciously, and intentionally. We can say yes and no within our financial means.  If you say no, you should really mean it.  Read here for more information on this topic. 

I will point out that there are cultures around the world in which parents are traditionally extraordinarily permissive with children from birth to age 5. These children tend to grow up to be very healthy, successful, well-educated, and productive members of society.  

Despite the popular American myth, saying yes thoughtfully, intentionally, and abundantly ... is not a pathway to prison.    

First, baby proof the house.  

When your child begins to move about, if the house is baby proof you will be able to say no way less often and allow for freer exploration.  In a baby proofed house, they are free to explore the many opportunities and possibilities this new life has to offer.  You provide the safety and opportunities and encourage the exploration.  If the house is not baby proof, you will end up feeling anxious, following closely, saying no often, and preventing injury; or not and risking serious injuries.  

No, having the toddler fall down the un-gated stairs does not "toughen them up", but it does risk serious, life-altering head injuries.  (The game of life is played entirely inside one's head. Protecting the brain from injury is critical to parenting success.)    

Parent-child relational habits begin to form at birth.  In the baby proof environment, the word no is spoken minimally, only when required, and is enforced in a firm, gentle, loving manner.  Avoid creating a relational habit of no.  

Being thoughtfully permissive with your child at an early age will not spoil them for life.

As your child grows, you will want to remain thoughtful of two thing: 1) delayed gratification, and 2) impulse control.

Delayed gratification and impulse control are very important abilities to nurture in young children.  Parents can do this be saying yes often, with an important caveat.

• Child: Mom, can I have another cookie? 

• Mom: Yes, of course. After dinner.

This is saying yes, with a time delay. 

• Child: Dad, I want this toy.  Can we buy it?  

• Dad:  Yes, of course.  Lets think it over for a while, see if there might be other things you want more.  If you still want it in 2 months we will get it. 

This is saying yes, with a time delay.

• 12 year old child: Dad, can I drive the car? 

• Dad: Yes, of course. Absolutely.  When you are 15 I will teach you.

Saying yes, with a time delay.

When children are younger, saying yes with a short time delay begins the process of learning the value of delayed gratification.  Yes, you can ... in a few minutes, this afternoon, after dinner, etc.  Saying no, does not teach delayed gratification.  As children age, the time delay can be gradually extended.  If the time delay is beyond the developmental and temperamental grasp of the child, it has no constructive value and will likely elicit a tantrum.  If you say "yes, you can do that in ten years" to a toddler, nothing is gained.     

Saying yes with a time delay begins the process of teaching and practicing impulse control.  With temperamental children, use a timer to make the time delay more tangible.  Start with a short delay and expand it as they practice and improve. Tell your temperamental child that you are helping him practice waiting patiently.  

Celebrate successes and failures. Why celebrate failures?  Because your child is trying.  A failure just means more practice is required. Everything in life is a practice to mastery activity.  If your child was trying to catch a ball, but missed, you would likely say something like:  "ooooh, nice try, Buddy.  Keep practicing.  You'll get it."  It's the same with delayed gratification and tantrums.  

This does not reward the tantrum any more than being encouraging after a missed catch encourages missing.  It encourages the trying and practicing part: the life-time important part.     

We can also teach children the value of planning by saying yes.

• Child:  Mom, can I can over to Johnny's house?  

• Mom:  Yes, of course.  What's your plan for getting your homework done? 

• Child:  I'll do it after I get home. 

• Mom: Well, let's see, how much homework do you have?  Do you think you will be able to get it all done this evening? What if you did some of your homework before going, then you'll only have a small amount to get down later? 

• Child:  It'll be OK, Mom.  I'll get it all done. 

• Mom:  Ok.  Let try it. 

Most parents can predict how this will probably, but not definitely turn out.  The choice for parents is to allow the process to unfurl naturally with learning in mind or just say no.  In this case, the Mom chooses to allow the process and teach anticipatory planning and problem solving skills.  

By saying yes, we facilitate anticipatory planning and problem solving.  Saying no, teaches nothing of value.  Saying yes, also makes room for autonomous decision-making in a safe way.  And, it sets the tone for the problem solving conversation that will occur later, if the plan does not work out well.

It's OK if the plan does not work out well.  

This is part of the learning process.  Children learn from their mistakes if we build their world in a way that leaves room for safely making mistakes.  It's not growth producing for the child to have their parents, who already know many of the lessons of life, to manage them in a way that prevents mistakes through excessive control. Children learn by making mistakes.  Saying no, does not allow for this type of real life learning.

Please see the post on Failing Forward for more discussion on mistakes.

In summary, by saying yes, you can teach your children that life is filled with opportunities and possibilities, delayed gratification and impulse control, and anticipatory planning and problem solving. 

Saying no, teaches none of this.  

         

Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com 

     

Failing Forward: Into Safe, Loving Arms

I watched as the toddler tumbled down a full flight of stairs.  I held my breath a bit while his Dad went down to retrieve him, we all did.

Will he be OK?

Kids make mistakes – a lot of them. Parents make a lot of mistakes too. 

The goal of parenting is to embrace and celebrate errors, mistakes, injuries, and failures; turning them into resilience, achievement, optimism, and success. If your child falls while learning to walk:  exude confidence, cheer!, pick them up, dust them off, and set them back on their feet again. 

If they are hurt, take a moment to empathize and reassure.  If they are injured, apply compassionate care and seek medical attention as needed.  No matter what the mistake is, always "set them back on their feet".  Continue to do this for the rest of your life.

There are, however, some critical errors that do need to be prevented.  For example, it's not beneficial to children to experience traumatic brain injuries, get hit by a car, or experience death; drowning is not life enhancing.  While we each will weigh out the risks and benefits based on personal perspective, I'm certain we can all agree that some things need to be prevented to the best of our ability.

Risk-Benefit Analysis

What to worry about, what not to worry about? How do you decide? There is a straight-forward risk-benefit analysis that can be applied to parental decisions and children's activities. We each must weigh out these choices on our own, but it's sensible to have accurate information about risk and benefit to start with. 

If the risk is high and the benefit low, skip the activity. If the risk is low and the benefit is high, go for it.

Legality, ethics, morals, all fall into the risk category.  If an activity is illegal, unethical, or immoral this pushes the risk assessment up.

Mitigating Risk

We all want our children to reap the maximum benefit of being engaged in a range of healthy activities as they grow up, while minimizing the potential risks.

Examples:

• Bike riding is beneficial, but there is some risk involved. Wearing a helmet maintains all the benefit while reducing the risk.
• Snowboarding and skiing are both beneficial outdoor activities, but they do come with some risks. We can mitigate the risk by having our children wear helmets, take lessons to increase competency, and by keeping them off terrain they are not skilled enough to tackle.
• Soccer is a team sport with risks and benefits. We can support participation in soccer safely and advise against heading the ball.

Your child's brain is critical for thinking: learning, problem-solving, and decision-making; not for hitting things with. The risk of head injury while engaged in any of the above activities is real. Head injury can lead to contusions, fractures, eye injuries, concussions, permanent brain damage, or even, in rare cases, death.*

Keep in mind that your child's brain governs everything in her life -- all current and future potential, opportunity, and success.

There is no benefit happening on the soccer field or other sports activities that is worth risking your child's brain health.

Basic Facts

• It is impossible for a child to live without making and experiencing errors, mistakes, injuries, and failures.
• It is impossible for a child to grow in the absence of errors, mistakes, injuries, and failures.
• Errors, mistakes, injuries, and failures are critical and necessary to healthy development.
• It is impossible to be a parent without making and experiencing errors, mistakes, injuries, and failures.

Given the above, I  recommend judicious, careful, thoughtful, and pro-active parenting; intentional parenting that is neither overly protective nor overly restrictive or critical of errors, mistakes, injuries, and failures.

Harsh, restrictive parenting is a high risk-low benefit activity.

Proactive Parenting

The risk of critical errors can be reduced by providing proactive, anticipatory guidance early and often.  Proactive, anticipatory guidance is knowing about the challenges ahead and preparing children to have good knowledge and the necessary skills ahead of time, before they will encounter any given challenge. Knowledge and skills take time to develop.  Proactive parenting initiates the teaching and skill development process well in advance of when the need will arrive.

Teaching begins at birth, in developmentally appropriate ways.  Many parents are not comfortable or knowledgeable in discussing some things with children and often end up trying to increase control over adolescent behavior far too late, often after the fact.

I watched a toddler tumble down a full flight of stairs recently.  The dad had declined the advice of the elders in the room to move the toddler away from the stairs.  Down he went.  Dad hurried down to retrieve his crying son.  I think we all held our breath for a bit, waiting hopefully to see that he was alright.  The big bruise on the boy's head was readily apparent as they returned to the top of the stairs. His first head injury?  An event for the baby book?

Important note: Don't make up a risk assessment based on some sort of intuitive sense of how dangerous something is.  People chronically misjudge real risk. Do the research.  The Dad above who allowed his teetering toddler to wobble precariously near the top of the un-gated stairs was exercising poor judgement. All the elders knew this and tried to offer guidance.  The likelihood that a toddler will tip and the injury risk of falling down the stairs is real  (Child Injured on Stairs Every 6 Minutes), but there is very little if any benefit to allowing the precarious teetering. The child learns nothing of value in this scenario.  I can only hope the father did.  The risk of injury falling down the stairs is high, the benefit is very low or non-existent.

Trust & Faith (Although important, I moved this to a separate post. Click link to see discussion on trust and faith elsewhere.)

Given the absolute inevitability of errors, mistakes, and failures … the only reasonable parenting option is to embrace and celebrate them as learning and growth producing opportunities.

• Life is a practice-to-mastery activity.  Only through practice do we get better.
• Punishment may suppress unwanted behaviors, at best, and only temporarily.  It never teaches what to do.
• Studying and celebrating mistakes compels learning and success. What went wrong?  What might work better?
• Parents grow as parents by learning from their mistakes.  What went wrong?  What will work better next time?
• Children can grow by learning from their mistakes. What went wrong?  What might work better?
• Learning from mistakes requires self-reflective analysis: what happened, what went wrong? What might work better next time?

When children fail, they should fall into the safe, loving arms of parents who will dust them off, help them get back up again, provide some guidance, and send them back out into the world ready to go again, and again, and again.

Try it out and see how it works. If it doesn't work well, analyze the outcome.  What went wrong?  What might work better next time?  Do I need to practice this more or try something new?

Celebrate both successes and failures, trials and tribulations, wins and losses. Celebrate life.

Printable Version (includes Trust & Faith)

Additional Resources: 

Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones for Success, by John C. Maxwell

* Head injuries. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11347686      

Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com