I’ve always advised parents to be like Jello.
Jello is firm, yet fun and fruity.
***
There are three primary parenting styles - authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive.
Each are effective in raising children to become productive adults. Each has strengths and weaknesses.
Permissive parenting generally produces adults who have higher self-esteem and tend to be high achievers. While still children, there may be more behavioral problems.
Authoritarian parents (strict, often harsh and punitive) produce adults that have lower self-esteem and tend to be lower achievers. As children, there are fewer behavior problems - while adults are watching - although covert behaviors (lying, being sneaky) tend to be higher.
Authoritative parents produce the most successful adults. Authoritative parents are firm, but willing to discuss rules and expectations. Authoritative parents use a lot of verbal reasoning from a very early age. Their children have higher verbal reasoning skills. Verbal reasoning skills are the primary asset for school success. These kids tend to find early success in school, then accelerate ahead of their same age peers.
The children of parents who utilize corporal punishment as a primary means of discipline tend to have significantly lower IQs. The explanation for the diminished IQ isn’t related to the corporal punishment per se. It has more to do with the parent’s diminished use of verbal reasoning skills.
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Kenneth H. Little, MA
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