I came upon your website after seeing a link on Facebook. I have been searching for information on Behavior Modification camps, programs, or specialists in my area all week as we have reached a breaking point with my 13 year old son. I think he definitely needs a behavior modification program that is aggressive and he needs it soon. The only camps I could find in the New England area are $6000 to $8900 per month for a residential program and this is not a possible option for my family financially.
Can you make any recommendations for doctors and/or programs in Southern NH for that could benefit us? I live just outside of Manchester, NH.
Any information you can share would be appreciated.
Reply:
Dear xxxxxx,
I'm and very sorry for your struggles.
I really can't wade in with an informed opinion as I do not know your son or situation. However, I do have some thoughts and suggestions that I can offer for your consideration.
Suggestions:
- Find a Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist in your area. (http://www.aacap.org/)
- Find a good therapist that will help both your son AND your family. If you have health insurance you should be able to get a list of professionals that can help.
- Learn about / look into Ross Greene's "Explosive Child" approach -- it is excellent! (http://www.cpsconnection.com)
- I would suggest staying away from behavioral programs. They may have qualified adults who may be able to help your son, but these programs will also be filled with other boys with similar problems. There is no way to be certain, but there is a risk that your son may get worse by attending a behavioral program. Children his age are very susceptible to peer influence, often more so than adult influence. Harvard Univ. published some research on summer camps for behavioral kids some years ago that indicated increased behavioral difficulties after attending behavioral summer camps. Further, an article entitled: "Forensic Psychiatry and Violent Adolescents: Risk Factors for Adolescent Violence" described the following -- "Risk factors were demonstrated to have different effects at different ages of development. Within the late-onset or adolescent group, most risk factors had only a small individual effect. In keeping with adolescent development, however, peer group factors had a strong effect such that association with antisocial peers, belonging to a gang or lacking social ties strongly predicted antisocial behavior." (http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/571434_3)
- I suggest that you spend your time and money connecting your son with healthy, growth producing, and self esteem enhancing challenges, activities, and peers that are non-behavioral: AMC (http://amc-nh.org/index.php), hiking, biking, skate boarding, and / rock climbing camps, tennis, sports, chess, Lego's / Invention camps, etc.
- Master advanced parenting skills for difficult children (see Ross Greene, or a family therapist, or a good behaviorist (a positive and proactive behaviorist), read Alan Kazdin's book: The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child. Home based behavior modification and management is quite possibly the most important component of a child's well-being. Community and extended family supports and activities can be of significant value too.
- Study and understand the adolescent stage of life. Your son is either currently experiencing or on the verge of experiencing a massive burst of life changing growth. Puberty and neuro-biological changes are underway that will affect your son's moodiness, way of thinking about life, and feelings. Sexual feelings alone can be distressing and destabilizing to some pre-teens and teens.
- A thorough assessment of your son's strengths and weaknesses, of the issues and problems he and your family are facing is the first step. Once a comprehensive understanding is developed a comprehensive plan to resolve his difficulties can be developed too.
Please feel free to write with any questions or concerns.
My best wishes to you and your family,
Ken
Kenneth H. Little, MA
603-726-1006
KenLittle50@gmail.com
https://www.achieve-es.com
