The following is excerpted from Ken's Parenting Guide.
One of the most important things that parents can do while raising children is to teach them the importance of having strong character traits (more on this later) and a strong value system. A strong value system will guide children through the many challenges and difficulties they will likely encounter as they grow into adolescents and begin to move out into the world on their own.
One of the most important things that parents can do while raising children is to teach them the importance of having strong character traits (more on this later) and a strong value system. A strong value system will guide children through the many challenges and difficulties they will likely encounter as they grow into adolescents and begin to move out into the world on their own.
Sometimes, family values become lost in the day-to-day grind and parents lose contact with the values that are so very important to them. By staying in touch with our values, we can keep them in the forefront of our parenting efforts where they will guide us to do the most good and be gifted by example to our children.
As an exercise, sit down and consider what your family value system is. Make a list of the most important values, the top 5 for starters. Then examine your family's rules as they are expressed in day-to-day interactions -- how they actually play out. Sometimes or often there is a conflict between what we think the family rules are and what they actually are in practice.
For example: many families value respect: respect for self, respect for others, and respect for property. Is respect represented not only in your family rules, but does it guide your family's daily interactions? Is respect guiding your parental interactions with your children?
As an exercise, sit down and consider what your family value system is. Make a list of the most important values, the top 5 for starters. Then examine your family's rules as they are expressed in day-to-day interactions -- how they actually play out. Sometimes or often there is a conflict between what we think the family rules are and what they actually are in practice.
For example: many families value respect: respect for self, respect for others, and respect for property. Is respect represented not only in your family rules, but does it guide your family's daily interactions? Is respect guiding your parental interactions with your children?
What is your family value system?
List Values:
Ex: Respect -- self, others, property
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
Family rules should be logically connected to your family’s value system.
What are your Family's Rules?
Examples of respect-based rules: speak respectfully to others; brush your teeth, bathe, wear clean clothes, eat healthy food, etc.; don't jump on the furniture or write on the walls, put your bike away, clean up any mess you make, help with chores, etc.
List rules:
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
Please keep in mind that the way we behave as adults in any given moment may or may not express our value system. The purpose of this exercise is to help us remain more consistent with our value system, even in the heat of the moment.
Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 /
