Mad River Behavioral Health

Parenting Is: Continuous Quality Improvement The very best response to the vast majority of children’s misbehavior is a simple, quiet conversation moderated by reason, wisdom, and compassion; a conversation that guides the child quietly and gently to a better, more helpful place in life.   Raising children is a long, gradual process.  It takes years and years of patient and persistent effort. Gentle guidance is the primary choice in parenting.  Sometimes a planned system of positive and negative consequences makes sense.  This is not a system of rewards and punishment, so to speak, but a well crafted system of inductive consequences; constructive and instructive consequences that gradually teach better behavior, better problem solving skill, and better decision-making skill. Arbitrary and / or harsh consequences should be avoided.  They are far more likely to inflame the situation and create resentment within the child which will obscure any learning benefit...

Only through the full and unconditional love and acceptance of each of our children, exactly as they are at any given time, complete with their full array of human flaws, can we even begin to lovingly and gently guide and support them in developing the skills and abilities they will require to become the successful adults we all hope they will become.  Kenneth H. Little, MA  603-726-1006 KenLittle-NH.org

I see spirited children often. I love their natural energy.  Their parent(s) always look a bit tattered, ruffled, and strained.  Most parents would say, I think, that they want their children to have some "get-up-and-go", a bit of "fire in their belly", some internal tenacity.  These are admirable traits and characteristics that will serve children well as they learn how to refine, harness, and direct their energies as they move toward adulthood. They will very likely clash with the world during this process. It is better to guide these children gently forward rather than to try to break them of their natural tendencies.    Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 /   Achieve-ES.com © 2019 Kenneth H. Little. All rights reserved.  

When children first come whooshing out into the world they are fully reliant on their parent(s) for all of their needs and well-being.  As soon as the umbilical chord is cut, however, the very long and gradual process of separation and individuation begins.   Parenting from here on out, every minute of it, is fully about preparing -- incrementally --  the child to occupy a successful, healthy role in the adult world to the best of their abilities.  With each passing moment children grow, change, move inexorably toward adulthood.  Ready or not, adulthood will arrive. Children are not well prepared by overly involved, overly controlling parents.  Children are not well prepared by under involved, neglectful parents. Children are best prepared by collaborative parents who gently and gradually ween them off parental control and into self-management.    To be continued.    Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, ...

Why Do Kids Start Smoking; and other unhealthy, self-destructive behaviors? What can parents do?  How to develop a constructive parenting plan that will reduce the risk? Why does it matter? "Isn't risky behavior during adolescence normal?"  "I did it and I'm fine, what's the big deal?" Ingesting, inhaling, injecting drugs and alcohol can impact brain development during the adolescent years, a time of rapid brain growth. Even small differences in neurological development can cause lasting problems well into adulthood.   "Altered brain development due to exposure of neurotoxins during adolescence, particularly alcohol, could set the stage for cognitive problems into adulthood, conferring functional consequences throughout life."(3) It is best if the brain is well protected from birth until age 25.  Drugs, alcohol, tobacco (other*) all pose significant risks to healthy brain development. Below is a list of risk factors for smoking cigare...