Mad River Behavioral Health

No, not swear words. There are certain words we use to describe children and their behavior that are counter-productive; one of the most destructive of which is the word "manipulative". Bad words!  Bad!  Words matter.  To keep one's head straight, it's important to think about and describe behaviors in a constructive manner that makes success more likely.   Using the wrong words makes success less likely. Have you ever had a phone call from someone trying to sell you something, during which you felt like you were being manipulated? If yes, what did you do?   I hang up, cut the call  off   . Bam!  Discussion over. Problem solved. As parents and mental health professionals, the last thing we ever want to do during our work with a child is to "hang up on them".  We can take breaks , this is sensible, but we never want to cut the conversation off.   Try this.  Re-conceptualize "manipulative" behavio...

 All rights reserved by  Alex-de-Haas Flip negative behaviors into their positive opposites; maladaptive behaviors into their adaptive opposites. Example: "tantrum" is flipped into "using words".  Children at times use tantrums to get needs met.  This is a negative, maladaptive skill. The positive, adaptive opposite skill is to use words to get needs met. As we move forward we will begin to focus our attention on enhancing skills and abilities, the capacity to manage in and navigate a complex world. Whenever we encounter a problem or concern we will begin the work of "flipping" the negative behavior into its positive opposite behavior or skill. From here, we will teach, coach, and encourage the use of the positive behavior or skill in the difficult situation. Difficult situations require adaptive skills in order to navigate successfully. Skills require a lot of practice to master.  Please keep in mind that all children ... will learn th...

A Sledgehammer is ...  Not ... a Behavior Change Tool. Constructive Feedback Behavioral kids and teens*, typically get absolutely inundated by crushing waves of criticism.  Pause for a moment right here.  Read this again to establish a deep empathic connection with this reality.  Imagine crushing waves of criticism inundating you every day for years and years.   Close your eyes. Breathe gently and deeply.  Imagine how it would feel. Not only do behavioral kids tend to get subjected to frequent negative feedback on their problem behaviors, but they are very typically hyper-criticized for ordinary behaviors as well. Behavioral kids tend to get scrutinized frequently, in everything they do.  Many behavioral kids know this and say it very clearly. This is extraordinarily destructive to the child and very counter-productive. Imagine for a moment, being hyper-criticized at work; moment to moment, day-in-and-day-out, for y...