The Purpose of Behavioral Programming

Our dedication is to the whole child.  Our interest extends to the child’s family, neighborhood, school, and community.  Each child’s well-being is contingent on the well-being of the extended network surrounding and supporting their growth.

Our interest in the whole child includes their well-rounded and well-balanced development.  We must attend to each area of need and support carefully weighted, balanced, and multi-dimensional growth: music, art, sports, friendship, family, hobbies and interests, academic achievement, ethical and spiritual well-being.  No one area can be allowed to consume our attention at the expense of another area.  We must remain flexible and responsive to the child’s needs. We must nurture each child’s strengths and carefully attend to their weaknesses.

Elements of Character, Development, and a Healthy Lifestyle: 

• Honesty

• Creative Well-being

• Cooperation / Teamwork

• Physical Well-being

• Work

• Emotional Well-being

• Loyalty

• Intellectual Well-being

• Enthusiasm

• Ethical Well-being

• Determination

• Spiritual Well-being

• Curiosity / Inquisitiveness

• Community Well-being 

• Playfulness

• Filial Well-being

• Optimism

• Social Well-being

• Resourcefulness

• Caring & Compassion

Growth is a dynamic process; a process leading toward resilience, a process leading toward a healthy and productive adult participant in society.  

Leadership initiates the process.  

Leadership is the beacon toward which the children grow. Leadership is the example or model we provide.  What does our model look like?  How do we nurture a carefully weighted and balanced lifestyle in our own lives and in the lives of the children we serve? 

How do we nurture resilience?  How do we nurture a sense of community in which growth and resilience will flourish?

The purpose of programming is to create a sense of community that will nurture, protect, and celebrate the children. 

“I was seeing in a sacred manner the shape of all things in the Spirit and the shape of all shapes as they must live together like one being and I saw the sacred hoop of my people was one of many hoops that made one circle wide as daylight and as starlight. And in the center grew one mighty flowering tree to shelter all the children of one mother and one father and I saw that it was Holy.” 

~ Black Elk

Kenneth H. Little, MA 

603-726-1006

KenLittle-NH.org

© 2009 Kenneth H. Little. All rights reserved.  

Good Judgement: A Personal Reflection

Copyright All rights reserved by 

Ken Little - New Hampshire

“Good Judgement comes from experience, 90% of which is based on bad judgement.” (source unknown)

This wisdom was taped to the kitchen cupboard in my family's kitchen throughout my adolescent years. I’m convinced it was my mother’s survival mantra; her daily reassurance that all would be well in the future, that all of the mistakes I made were guiding me toward developing good judgment.

It worked and I did, but to be perfectly honest, my survival was not assured by any stretch of the imagination.

Things could very easily have turned out differently, very badly in fact. Things did turn out badly for many young people growing up at the same time. 

Too many of my peers during high school and in the years shortly after died, but many more were impacted by lasting and often debilitating injuries, for example: skiing dangerously, jumping off cliffs into quarries, driving dangerously, and using drugs and alcohol in a way that damaged bodies and brains. 

The harm continued to resonate into the future. (see Consequences)

An old friend died from a heart attack in his early 40s – probably the result of the damage caused by using cocaine earlier in life; his past poor judgment coming back to haunt him well after the harmful behavior had ended and he’d established a successful business and loving family. 

Another old friend, one of the most intelligent people I knew growing up, ended up permanently damaging his brain. He continues to work in a low level, low-income job. Such great potential lost permanently to youthful decision-making error.

Youthful errors can leave lasting damage.

Teens and young adults lack the judgment, experience and decision-making skills required to reliably make good decisions. 

It’s not that they always make bad decisions.  In fact, the vast majority of decisions teens and young adults make are typically good and constructive.  It's just that the probability of making bad decisions is higher during adolescence and early adulthood. 

Teens and young adults are out in the world without adult supervision, physically grown but not fully ready to go.  Out in the world without the skills and abilities they will need to navigate the often complex and difficult predicaments life brings to them.

This is not really a fully preventable reality. Perhaps younger children might be supervised more closely, but teens and young adults do move out into the world on their own. This is both expected and necessary. 

Teens and young adults cannot develop into effective and capable adults by keeping them under close supervision at all times.

According to the CDC, 40% of the deaths between age 10 and 24 are due to unintentional injuries. This is the leading cause of death in this age group. As a society we attack this problem with laws, policy changes, systems changes, etc. We work to wrap teens in a safer world. For example, the #1 risk to a teen is driving in a car with another teen. This elevated risk is primarily due to inexperienced drivers making poor decisions. In an effort to reduce this risk, we are changing licensing laws; we have seat belts laws and air bags. These are all changes that can and should be made around teens and young adults.  They are much needed to reduce the risks. 

But what are we doing to help teens learn how to make better decisions?

For over 25 years I've been teaching children, teens, and young adults the "how to" of decision-making they need in order to make better decisions. 

Over the years I’ve learned a lot about what works and what does not work and I've developed concrete, usable decision-making systems that teens can be taught, that they can practice, that can be incorporated into their habits of thinking. 

These practiced skills will give them the decision-making advantage they will need to make better decisions, decisions that will lower the risks of navigating adolescent life.

Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com

Leadership

Excerpted from Ken's Parenting Guide

Leadership

Parents are the leaders of the family. Parents lead children in growth and development toward adulthood. Parents lead by example.  Leadership is not power.  Leadership is wisdom.

Vision / Long Term Desired Outcome

In order to lead, parents need to have a sense of what their long-term desired outcome is. As a parent, what are you trying to accomplish in raising children? Having a good sense of the desired outcome will help you navigate through difficulties more effectively. Keep the big picture and the long-term plan in mind. Don't get lost in the small stuff, the immediate challenges.

Know Your Family's Value System

Keep your value system at the forefront of your parenting effort. Write it down. Talk with your children about your values. Parents instill values in their children gradually over time. Live according to your value system. Guide accordingly.

Keep the Whole Child in Mind

Often as parents we lose sight of the whole child and begin to focus too vigorously on the problems, concerns, and shortcomings. As parents, it's important to attend to the whole child, to develop children across the many years into well-rounded adults.

Focus on Constructive Feedback

Avoid using negative feedback and criticism. Keep the feedback loop corrective, constructive, positive and uplifting; pointing toward the long-term desired outcome. As parents we are constructing, building-up our children toward adulthood, not tearing them down.

Build Strength - Strengthen Weakness

Raise resilient children, strengthen and develop character and skills patiently, intentionally, and incrementally across the many years of child development. Help your children develop the strengths and skills necessary to cope effectively with the difficulties of life and to succeed despite obstacles. Do not avoid weaknesses - strengthen weaknesses through a planned, intentional, practice-to-mastery approach.

  

Strength is nurtured, not demanded.

Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com