Corporal Punishment (part 1)

For the purpose of distinguishing between Corporal Punishment (CP) and Physical Abuse, I will use the definition of corporal punishment as defined by Straus (1994a). 

“Corporal punishment is the use of physical force with the intention of causing a child to experience pain but not injury for the purposes of correction or control of the child’s behavior”

I consider anything beyond this limited definition of CP to be physical abuse. 

Physical abuse as defined by the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information (2000), is: "Physical abuse is characterized by the infliction of physical injury as a result of punching, beating, kicking, biting, burning, shaking or otherwise harming a child. The parent or caretaker may not have intended to hurt the child, rather the injury may have resulted from over-discipline or physical punishment. (What Are the Main Types of Maltreatment? section, para. 2)" 

Just to be clear, I'm personally and professional opposed to the use of corporal punishment and physical abuse. This is my bias.  I make every effort to focus on helping parents develop constructive methods for addressing unwanted behaviors and for teaching children the adaptive behaviors, values, and character traits they will need to become successful adults. 

Parents have approximately 6,600 days between birth and age 18 to gradually guide their children toward adulthood. Unless someone is on fire or gushing blood - there is no emergency or critical behavior that needs to be 'fixed' right this moment with the use of physical force.  Take a step-back, take a breath, relax, and make a coherent and constructive plan.      

Neither corporal punishment nor physical abuse is effective in correcting children's behavior. 

Punishments, even severe punishments, only serve to suppress an unwanted behavior within a specific situational context, but not elsewhere in the child's life.  Suppressing an unwanted behavior does nothing to address underlying drivers or to teach new, adaptive behaviors.  Suppression is temporary.  The behavior will be back.  Many parents find this to be very frustrating, contributing to an ever increasing level of punishment severity. 

Corporal Punishment should never be utilized to address children's behavior, except only under the direct supervision and guidance of a team of highly qualified professionals to address a very specific set of severe and extreme behaviors. 

If your family is struggling with this level of severity, please do consult with a team of highly trained and highly qualified medical and behavioral experts.

Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com

Interpreting Behavior

You can't. Don't do it.

Ok, so we can a little bit, to a point. Some behavioral gestures are so common, like smiling, laughing, etc., that we can safely infer meaning.

But, if we go past the basic observation, we can also get our selves into some pretty deep trouble ... pretty quickly ... by over reaching - interpreting more complex behaviors, one's that matter a bit more.

We can see that a client is angry, but we cannot know what specifically she is angry about -- even if we observe a conflict in action. The client may have been angry about something that happened early in the day, last week, a few years ago, and / she may be trauma reactive (more on this another time), and then brought her pre-existing condition into a current situation.

Note: We all bring our pre-existing condition into current situations.

The problem with interpreting behavior is ... it requires us to become psychics, to read minds. We can observe a behavior, but we cannot know what it means without asking the child, who may or may not know.

We all try to interpret behavior. It's like a behavioral staff hobby. But, it's pretty disrespectful to interpret behavior without any input from the client / child and ... we are most often wrong.

An observed behavior is like an ambiguous situation.

We observe it but we don't have all the facts, the whole story, then we make up a story about what we think is happening. This is the same thing that happens when psychologists give projective tests, like the Rorschach or Thematic Apperception Test (TAT). Subjects are asked to look at an ink blot or picture and tell what they see in the ambiguous image. Observing behavior is like peering into an ink blot or TAT image. We often project our own stuff into the behavior and make up a story about what we think we see.

We even do it with pictures of animals.  Most people who looked a the cat image above had some inkling ideas about what the cat is thinking flickering through their mind.  It's that automatic. But, we cannot possibly know what the cat is thinking. Go ahead and try it, if you did not before.  Scroll back up and look into the cat's eyes, examine it's posture.  What happens to your mind when you do?

Really good behavioral observationists know the limits of interpretation. They resist the temptation to over-reach.

It's best to observe the behavior then suspend decision-making about what it means until further information is obtained.  We might be able to see a look of anger written onto a child's face, but is it anger, concentration, determination ... ?  We will need to ask.

Asking the child is a really good place to start.
  
*****

A cautionary note: if the behavior we observe is dangerous, if it poses a risk of significant and imminent harm to self or others, we must act. The key operational words here are: significant and imminent. The potential for harm has to be large enough and likely to happen very soon in order to warrant the risk of a direct intervention. This can be a difficult judgment call. If the risk is not imminent, it's best to slow the process down and wait.  If the risk of harm is not significant, it's better to utilize de-escalation techniques to try to avert a behavioral crisis. Behavioral staff should always adhere strictly to the policies and procedures manual at their work place. Safety and well-being are always the highest priority. 

  Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com

Calm Down and Take Space!

Anger management

If you want your children to be able to take space in order to calm down, you will need to be very good at taking space to calm down. 

Parenting is leadership by example.

More on this soon.