Mad River Behavioral Health

When infants cry they are trying to communicate something important to you.   Ignore them and you begin establishing a non-responsive parent-child relational pattern.   Respond with annoyance and you begin establishing an inconvenienced parent-child relational pattern.   Engage in responsive listening and problem-solving and you begin establishing a nurturing parent-child relational pattern.  During the first three years of life, it is best if parents are available, responsive, and loving in meeting all of the child's needs.  Be responsive; warm and loving Be verbal; talk, read, and sing to your child Encourage safe explorations and play  Begin gently teaching and guiding  Recognize that each child is unique Take care of yourself Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com  

Say Yes!    Right from birth, you will want to create the belief in your child's mind that life is filled with endless opportunities and possibilities, that the limitations are few. This is accomplished by saying yes, a lot. By saying yes, you can teach your children that life is filled with opportunities and possibilities, teach them delayed gratification and impulse control, anticipatory planning and problem solving skills.  You don't have to start when they are brand new infants.  If you missed the opportunity when they were newborns,  Begin, Wherever You Are . Saying no to children diminishes both the child and the possibility of nurturing this belief. Saying no to children creates a belief in their mind that there are fewer opportunities and possibilities, that they can not do. OK, I hear your concerns. This is not a recommendation for an unbridled free for all. The idea is to parent intentionally, with a healthy outcome in mind, not to cr...

Draft The “No” Word  As many parents have pointed out, the word "no" can create an avalanche of horribly cascading dysregulation, and not just among toddlers.  A toddler's tantrum can be taxing, although sometimes cute, but a toddler's tantrum is never as difficult or as dangerous as the tantrum 'tweens and teens can throw.  A 'tween's tantrum can become a property destroying rampage; and anything a tween can do, a teen can double-down on.     Note: All of these blog posts are based on case compilations involving 100s of children and families that I've worked with over the years.    Mom of an 11 year old: My son can go from zero to tantrum in the blink of an eye.   me: What's the trigger?    Mom: When he hears the word "no".   me: What's the tantrum look like?   Mom: Oh, it's hell on wheels.  He swears, tips over furniture, breaks things, threatens me, slams doors, punches holes in his...

It's never too late or too soon. Wherever you are in your parenting journey, whether with newborn child or young adult, begin teaching problem solving skills, thinking skills, and verbal reasoning skills. Problem Solving, Thinking, & Verbal Reasoning There are other important skills (like, how to do laundry, dishes, math, and weak-side layups), but these are the Big Three. All are skills. All are taught, coached, encouraged, trained, and ... practiced, practiced, practiced to mastery over time. Please keep in mind that skills are increased gradually, incrementally over time only through repetitive practice. Practice to mastery is the only path to skill development, the only path forward. We will work toward developing these skills (problem-solving, thinking, verbal reasoning) by practicing on a regular basis the * Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) process developed by Dr. Ross Greene. This process can and should be practiced during all routine problems and mor...

Win-win or no deal is borrowed from Stephen R. Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This is a fantastic resource that I strongly recommend. I've incorporated Covey's idea into the collaborative process developed by Ross W. Greene and described in The Explosive Child , another resource I strongly recommend. More about Dr. Greene's approach can be found at his " Lives in the Balance " web site. I strongly encourage you to study these resources thoroughly. Think Win-Win, Whenever Possible We are working toward a parent-child collaborative process; outcomes that are mutually agreeable are preferred whenever possible. Win-lose and lose-win outcomes are not sustainable solutions.  These types of inequitable outcomes will contribute to growing mistrust and resentment; increasing frustration, anger, hostility — ever acting-out behavior. Avoid Win-Lose and Lose-Win outcomes as much as possible. Remember “No Deal”. Rather than accept a win-lose or l...