Mad River Behavioral Health

Never pay children for helping out at home. Being a cooperative and productive member of the family, making a contribution to the whole, is an expected part of life. Raising children according to a constructive value system is foundational to preparing children for a good, happy, healthy, successful life. Values: Clean up after your self Pitch in Be cooperative Be helpful Be respectful of self, others, property. All of these values are part of helping out at home. If kids want more money, they can help themselves and the family by earning it outside the family. Paying children to help out at home does not teach a valuable life lesson. Children come pre-wired to be good workers and you will teach them budgeting and purchasing skills as they are growing up.  The vast majority of young children want to help out at home; they want to load the dishwasher and washing machine, move laundry from washer to dryer, run the vacuum cleaner, etc. If they don't naturally want t...

Character strength is required in order to overcome the obstacles, challenges, and hardships of life.   No life goes unchallenged, is free from hurdles and hardship.  As parents, it is our purpose to endow our children with the skills, characteristics, and values they will need, not just to survive periods of intense difficulty, but to be ready and able to rise to the occasion.   ***** Many parents understand this.  However, some parents believe they must subject their children to hardship and drive them relentlessly as preparation.  I disagree with this perspective on parenting. Note: All of these blog posts are based on case compilations involving 100s of the children and families I've worked with over the years.  A safe, secure attachment and a safe and loving home is the strongest foundation for success in life. Parents do not prepare children for hardship by being harsh or cruel to them.  Parents prepare children for hardships by provid...

Square Peg, Meet Round Hole Parent Advocacy Often times it may seem as if the systems and institutions our children are required to navigate are set in place to conspire against them. *****   Children will face many challenges as they grow and develop.    There are times during which we will be required to advocate for system change on behalf of our children. The system may or may not respond in a constructive manner. Some elements may; others may not. Regardless of how the system responds, these situations also provide us with a golden opportunity to coach our children on the character strengths, values, and skills needed to successfully navigate difficult situations and systems in life. Very few systems are perfect, if any.  The vast majority of work places are mediocre, at best.   As reported in a Harvard Business Review article, a study by Life Meets Work found that 56% of American workers claim their boss is mildly or highly toxic....

The following is excerpted from Ken's Parenting Guide . One of the most important things that parents can do while raising children is to teach them the importance of having strong character traits (more on this later) and a strong value system.  A strong value system will guide children through the many challenges and difficulties they will likely encounter as they grow into adolescents and begin to move out into the world on their own.  Sometimes, family values become lost in the day-to-day grind and  parents  lose contact with the values that are so very important to them.  By staying in touch with our values, we can keep them in the forefront of our parenting efforts where they will guide us to do the most good and be gifted by example to our children. As an exercise, sit down and consider what your family value system is.  Make a list of the most important values, the top 5 for starters.  Then examine your family's rules as they are ex...

The Lighthouse The lighthouse stands on solid, stable ground.  It is a beacon of hope.  It warns of danger and guides to safety.  The waters around a lighthouse can be turbulent at times.  Parents are like the lighthouse.  Parents are strong and stable.  Parents are a beacon of hope, warning of danger and guiding children toward safety.  When children are emotionally unstable, when they are being tossed in the emotional turbulence of life, parents do not jump into the turbulence with their children.  Parent/s endeavor to remain stable and calm.  Parents invite children to come out of the turbulent waters.  When the parent/s become emotionally unstable, when they join their children in the turbulent waters … all is lost … until the parent/s can regain their composure, return to the safe, stable ground above the crashing waves. Parents invite children to come out of the turbulence, to come to safety, to join them on the ...

Washington Post: Study Finds Possible Link Between Childhood Deaths and Stimulants for ADHD - washingtonpost.com My response to the above headline is just below. Further down, I added some of the follow-up discussion from people who have struggled with ADHD. Children with ADHD are several times more likely to have accidental injuries requiring emergency room treatment and die from accidental causes; ADHD teens are more likely to have serious automobile accidents and are at a much higher risk of unwanted pregnancy. The negative impact of ADHD on academic performance, peer acceptance, and self-esteem can be enormous -- all contributing to negative adult outcomes. ADHD is a significant childhood difficulty with many significant risks. All of the pros and cons have to be weighed in making a decision on how to support ADHD children in achieving better outcomes. Best wishes, Ken See some of the follow-up comments posted in this Washington Post discussion: Greg Sleter at 9:34am...

Behavioral Problems Families and schools have a wide range of ideas and beliefs about what constitutes a behavior problem and a range of expectations for what level of behavioral compliance is reasonable. Further, our understanding of what "normal behavior" is not well understood. One informal study estimates that average children follow approximately 70% of their parent’s instructions. Is that good, bad, or medium? That depends on the family’s expectations for compliance. Family "A" may think that 70% compliance is fantastic, while family "B" sees it as horrible. The same applies to school systems and teachers. Expectations for behavioral compliance alter the way in which behavior is assessed and interpreted. Behavior problems beyond what is developmentally appropriate (one would hardly expect a toddler or a teen to be completely well behaved) can and should be seen as an indication that something is wrong, that the child or adolescent is in distre...