Mad River Behavioral Health

It's not the fault of the teachers. It's not the fault of the parents. It's not the students ...  ******************************************** You can always tell when a system is in trouble when blaming exceeds problem-solving. Let's stop blaming and get on with the work of solving. For many children, the public school system works just fine.  For some, the curriculum speed moves to slowly; for others, it moves too quickly. To solve this, how about if we match curriculum speed to each student's unique learning speed? Students should be able to gain 90%+ mastery on every single learning unit from kindergarten on before seeing the next learning unit. Children who move forward with less than 90% mastery have ever increasing learning gaps accumulating as they move through the grades. Can they get away with 80% mastery?  Yes, but it's not a preferred outcome.  Can students get away with 70% mastery?  Every now and then, but if kids are chronic B-C-D students, ...

Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children American Academy of Pediatrics Abstract Pediatricians are a source of advice for parents and guardians concerning the management of child behavior, including discipline strategies that are used to teach appropriate behavior and protect their children and others from the adverse effects of challenging behavior. Aversive disciplinary strategies, including all forms of corporal punishment and yelling at or shaming children, are minimally effective in the short-term and not effective in the long-term. With new evidence, researchers link corporal punishment to an increased risk of negative behavioral, cognitive, psychosocial, and emotional outcomes for children. In this Policy Statement, the American Academy of Pediatrics provides guidance for pediatricians and other child health care providers on educating parents about positive and effective parenting strategies of discipline for children at each stage of development as well as referen...

Never pay children for helping out at home. Being a cooperative and productive member of the family, making a contribution to the whole, is an expected part of life. Raising children according to a constructive value system is foundational to preparing children for a good, happy, healthy, successful life. Values: Clean up after your self Pitch in Be cooperative Be helpful Be respectful of self, others, property. All of these values are part of helping out at home. If kids want more money, they can help themselves and the family by earning it outside the family. Paying children to help out at home does not teach a valuable life lesson. Children come pre-wired to be good workers and you will teach them budgeting and purchasing skills as they are growing up.  The vast majority of young children want to help out at home; they want to load the dishwasher and washing machine, move laundry from washer to dryer, run the vacuum cleaner, etc. If they don't naturally want t...

Rule #1 Believe that “children do well if they can.”  If they aren’t doing well, wonder why that is - what is interfering.  Establish realistic expectations that the child is, in reality, capable of achieving.  Expecting something more than what the child can actually achieve is highly likely to result in failure, increased behavioral difficulties, and to foster a sense of ineffectiveness, helplessness, and worthlessness. Implementation Dip.  When you begin a new intervention .. expect things to get worse first.   It all works best if the process is entered into collaboratively -- with parent and child / teacher and child in agreement.  Let child know what is changing before beginning If you change your approach / style and they don't know why, it can make kids anxious and defensive.  Visualize Success.  What will success look like?   What are you trying to accomplish? What is your purpose? What are your short, mid-r...

A Guide to Behavioral Intervention Assess intellectual, instructional, learning, and situational factors and how they affect / contribute to the behavior problem. Develop and utilize a decision-making tree. Identify specific problem behaviors and their source / function. Conceptualize positive alternative behaviors. Progressively teach, coach, and support the student in developing and utilizing the positive alternatives: healthy, value-system-based behavioral and coping strategies in support of school / community / family success. Encourage the practice and progressive growth of positive alternative behaviors with coaching and positive, proactive behavioral planning. Scaffold: provide more support, encouragement, and behavioral skill instruction until the child begins to show some sense of competence, then wean and monitor.   Alter academic / instructional components as needed in accordance with assessment data and educational best practices. Establish realistic exp...

Coercive Transactions Imagine an argument you've had with either a child or significant other, one that spins out of control and get's pretty heated.  Keep this in mind while you are reading the interaction described below.  The interaction might be triggered by your child not doing something, not taking the trash out, or moving too slowly, like while getting ready for school.  The interaction can also be triggered by your child doing something undesirable. Do you recognize the  pattern?   “Coercion refers to a sequence of interactions between the child and parent. The sequence includes actions and reactions that increase the frequency and amplitude of angry, hostile, and aggressive behaviors. The sequence may begin with an argument over some action that has or has not been performed. It intensifies through verbal statements (e.g.: yelling, swearing) to more intensive actions (e.g., hitting, shoving). Ultimately, one person gives in or backs away from t...

When infants cry they are trying to communicate something important to you.   Ignore them and you begin establishing a non-responsive parent-child relational pattern.   Respond with annoyance and you begin establishing an inconvenienced parent-child relational pattern.   Engage in responsive listening and problem-solving and you begin establishing a nurturing parent-child relational pattern.  During the first three years of life, it is best if parents are available, responsive, and loving in meeting all of the child's needs.  Be responsive; warm and loving Be verbal; talk, read, and sing to your child Encourage safe explorations and play  Begin gently teaching and guiding  Recognize that each child is unique Take care of yourself Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com  

Say Yes!    Right from birth, you will want to create the belief in your child's mind that life is filled with endless opportunities and possibilities, that the limitations are few. This is accomplished by saying yes, a lot. By saying yes, you can teach your children that life is filled with opportunities and possibilities, teach them delayed gratification and impulse control, anticipatory planning and problem solving skills.  You don't have to start when they are brand new infants.  If you missed the opportunity when they were newborns,  Begin, Wherever You Are . Saying no to children diminishes both the child and the possibility of nurturing this belief. Saying no to children creates a belief in their mind that there are fewer opportunities and possibilities, that they can not do. OK, I hear your concerns. This is not a recommendation for an unbridled free for all. The idea is to parent intentionally, with a healthy outcome in mind, not to cr...

Most children do not have highly developed communication skills or the introspective self-awareness required to know and express accurately how or why they feel as they do. Often times children use non-verbal methods for expressing what they cannot quite find the words to say.  For example, a toddler may scream, cry, and / flop on the floor to express frustration; a child may cover her ears to block out sound; a teen might slam the door. How do we understand what our children are trying to say? In order to understand, parents need to: not take the communication personally, remain calm,  be empathic, and  be curious. Don't take it personally and try to stay calm.  Work to remain objective so that you can observe with a clear mind.  This is at times extremely difficult, but it's necessary to being an objective observer. If you take it personally or feel that your child is being disrespectful, you will be attending to your needs, not your child's. Kee...

A major 2002 meta-analysis of 88 studies found associations between lawful corporal punishment by parents and ten  negative outcomes, and a major 2016 meta-analysis, which used 75 studies published over 50 years, involving a total of 160,927 children, confirmed the findings of the earlier meta-analysis and found evidence of associations with five more negative outcomes.  The large and consistent body of evidence on the topic includes studies using sophisticated techniques which researchers have employed to address the arguments advanced by a few opponents of prohibition. The body of evidence is now overwhelming – more than 250 studies show associations between corporal punishment and a wide range of negative outcomes, while no studies have found evidence of any benefits. The met-analysis, which involved 88 studies, found associations between physical punishment and the  following ten negative “behaviours and experiences”: poor moral internalisation (child is le...

For the purpose of distinguishing between Corporal Punishment (CP) and Physical Abuse, I will use the definition of corporal punishment as defined by Straus (1994a).  “Corporal punishment is the use of physical force with the intention of causing a child to experience pain but not injury for the purposes of correction or control of the child’s behavior” I consider anything beyond this limited definition of CP to be physical abuse.  Physical abuse as defined by the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information (2000), is: " Physical abuse is characterized by the infliction of physical injury as a result of punching, beating, kicking, biting, burning, shaking or otherwise harming a child. The parent or caretaker may not have intended to hurt the child, rather the injury may have resulted from over-discipline or physical punishment. (What Are the Main Types of Maltreatment? section, para. 2) "  Just to be clear, I'm personally and professional oppose...

Years ago, I had a conversation with a man about corporal punishment. He was in favor of it.  Then I asked him what he thought of older kids beating up on little kids.  He was opposed to it, stating that when he was young the rule was that little kids could not be hit or harmed and the older kids looked out for them, protected them from bullies. Then he got it.  Growing up, it seems, many of us held an ethic that required older kids to protect younger kids from being harmed.  Neither we, nor anyone else was allowed to hit the little kids. What happens that causes parents to lose touch with this ethic?   How do people become transformed from holding a protector of little kids ethic to being parents who think it's their right and responsibility to harm little kids? The vast majority of all forms of child abuse happens inside the family. In certain US states (a wee bit under half), corporal punishment in public schools is still legal.  More on t...

I watched as the toddler tumbled down a full flight of stairs.  I held my breath a bit while his Dad went down to retrieve him, we all did. Will he be OK? Kids make mistakes – a lot of them.   Parents make a lot of mistakes too.  The goal of parenting is to embrace and celebrate errors, mistakes, injuries, and failures; turning them into resilience, achievement, optimism, and success. If your child falls while learning to walk:  exude confidence, cheer!, pick them up, dust them off, and set them back on their feet again.  If they are hurt, take a moment to empathize and reassure.  If they are injured, apply compassionate care and seek medical attention as needed.  No matter what the mistake is, always "set them back on their feet".  Continue to do this for the rest of your life. There are, however, some critical errors that do need to be prevented.  For example, it's not beneficial to children to experience traumatic brain injuries,...

Character strength is required in order to overcome the obstacles, challenges, and hardships of life.   No life goes unchallenged, is free from hurdles and hardship.  As parents, it is our purpose to endow our children with the skills, characteristics, and values they will need, not just to survive periods of intense difficulty, but to be ready and able to rise to the occasion.   ***** Many parents understand this.  However, some parents believe they must subject their children to hardship and drive them relentlessly as preparation.  I disagree with this perspective on parenting. Note: All of these blog posts are based on case compilations involving 100s of the children and families I've worked with over the years.  A safe, secure attachment and a safe and loving home is the strongest foundation for success in life. Parents do not prepare children for hardship by being harsh or cruel to them.  Parents prepare children for hardships by provid...

Square Peg, Meet Round Hole Parent Advocacy Often times it may seem as if the systems and institutions our children are required to navigate are set in place to conspire against them. *****   Children will face many challenges as they grow and develop.    There are times during which we will be required to advocate for system change on behalf of our children. The system may or may not respond in a constructive manner. Some elements may; others may not. Regardless of how the system responds, these situations also provide us with a golden opportunity to coach our children on the character strengths, values, and skills needed to successfully navigate difficult situations and systems in life. Very few systems are perfect, if any.  The vast majority of work places are mediocre, at best.   As reported in a Harvard Business Review article, a study by Life Meets Work found that 56% of American workers claim their boss is mildly or highly toxic....

Draft The “No” Word  As many parents have pointed out, the word "no" can create an avalanche of horribly cascading dysregulation, and not just among toddlers.  A toddler's tantrum can be taxing, although sometimes cute, but a toddler's tantrum is never as difficult or as dangerous as the tantrum 'tweens and teens can throw.  A 'tween's tantrum can become a property destroying rampage; and anything a tween can do, a teen can double-down on.     Note: All of these blog posts are based on case compilations involving 100s of children and families that I've worked with over the years.    Mom of an 11 year old: My son can go from zero to tantrum in the blink of an eye.   me: What's the trigger?    Mom: When he hears the word "no".   me: What's the tantrum look like?   Mom: Oh, it's hell on wheels.  He swears, tips over furniture, breaks things, threatens me, slams doors, punches holes in his...