Mad River Behavioral Health

When infants cry they are trying to communicate something important to you.   Ignore them and you begin establishing a non-responsive parent-child relational pattern.   Respond with annoyance and you begin establishing an inconvenienced parent-child relational pattern.   Engage in responsive listening and problem-solving and you begin establishing a nurturing parent-child relational pattern.  During the first three years of life, it is best if parents are available, responsive, and loving in meeting all of the child's needs.  Be responsive; warm and loving Be verbal; talk, read, and sing to your child Encourage safe explorations and play  Begin gently teaching and guiding  Recognize that each child is unique Take care of yourself Kenneth H. Little, MA / 135 Lee Brook Road / Thornton, NH 03285 / 603-726-1006 / Achieve-ES.com  

Say Yes!    Right from birth, you will want to create the belief in your child's mind that life is filled with endless opportunities and possibilities, that the limitations are few. This is accomplished by saying yes, a lot. By saying yes, you can teach your children that life is filled with opportunities and possibilities, teach them delayed gratification and impulse control, anticipatory planning and problem solving skills.  You don't have to start when they are brand new infants.  If you missed the opportunity when they were newborns,  Begin, Wherever You Are . Saying no to children diminishes both the child and the possibility of nurturing this belief. Saying no to children creates a belief in their mind that there are fewer opportunities and possibilities, that they can not do. OK, I hear your concerns. This is not a recommendation for an unbridled free for all. The idea is to parent intentionally, with a healthy outcome in mind, not to cr...

Most children do not have highly developed communication skills or the introspective self-awareness required to know and express accurately how or why they feel as they do. Often times children use non-verbal methods for expressing what they cannot quite find the words to say.  For example, a toddler may scream, cry, and / flop on the floor to express frustration; a child may cover her ears to block out sound; a teen might slam the door. How do we understand what our children are trying to say? In order to understand, parents need to: not take the communication personally, remain calm,  be empathic, and  be curious. Don't take it personally and try to stay calm.  Work to remain objective so that you can observe with a clear mind.  This is at times extremely difficult, but it's necessary to being an objective observer. If you take it personally or feel that your child is being disrespectful, you will be attending to your needs, not your child's. Kee...

A major 2002 meta-analysis of 88 studies found associations between lawful corporal punishment by parents and ten  negative outcomes, and a major 2016 meta-analysis, which used 75 studies published over 50 years, involving a total of 160,927 children, confirmed the findings of the earlier meta-analysis and found evidence of associations with five more negative outcomes.  The large and consistent body of evidence on the topic includes studies using sophisticated techniques which researchers have employed to address the arguments advanced by a few opponents of prohibition. The body of evidence is now overwhelming – more than 250 studies show associations between corporal punishment and a wide range of negative outcomes, while no studies have found evidence of any benefits. The met-analysis, which involved 88 studies, found associations between physical punishment and the  following ten negative “behaviours and experiences”: poor moral internalisation (child is le...

For the purpose of distinguishing between Corporal Punishment (CP) and Physical Abuse, I will use the definition of corporal punishment as defined by Straus (1994a).  “Corporal punishment is the use of physical force with the intention of causing a child to experience pain but not injury for the purposes of correction or control of the child’s behavior” I consider anything beyond this limited definition of CP to be physical abuse.  Physical abuse as defined by the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information (2000), is: " Physical abuse is characterized by the infliction of physical injury as a result of punching, beating, kicking, biting, burning, shaking or otherwise harming a child. The parent or caretaker may not have intended to hurt the child, rather the injury may have resulted from over-discipline or physical punishment. (What Are the Main Types of Maltreatment? section, para. 2) "  Just to be clear, I'm personally and professional oppose...

Years ago, I had a conversation with a man about corporal punishment. He was in favor of it.  Then I asked him what he thought of older kids beating up on little kids.  He was opposed to it, stating that when he was young the rule was that little kids could not be hit or harmed and the older kids looked out for them, protected them from bullies. Then he got it.  Growing up, it seems, many of us held an ethic that required older kids to protect younger kids from being harmed.  Neither we, nor anyone else was allowed to hit the little kids. What happens that causes parents to lose touch with this ethic?   How do people become transformed from holding a protector of little kids ethic to being parents who think it's their right and responsibility to harm little kids? The vast majority of all forms of child abuse happens inside the family. In certain US states (a wee bit under half), corporal punishment in public schools is still legal.  More on t...

I watched as the toddler tumbled down a full flight of stairs.  I held my breath a bit while his Dad went down to retrieve him, we all did. Will he be OK? Kids make mistakes – a lot of them.   Parents make a lot of mistakes too.  The goal of parenting is to embrace and celebrate errors, mistakes, injuries, and failures; turning them into resilience, achievement, optimism, and success. If your child falls while learning to walk:  exude confidence, cheer!, pick them up, dust them off, and set them back on their feet again.  If they are hurt, take a moment to empathize and reassure.  If they are injured, apply compassionate care and seek medical attention as needed.  No matter what the mistake is, always "set them back on their feet".  Continue to do this for the rest of your life. There are, however, some critical errors that do need to be prevented.  For example, it's not beneficial to children to experience traumatic brain injuries,...