The Rich, Priceless Tapestry of Life

 

The past is filled with a rich, wonderful, and instructive tapestry of precious life.  

***

People are often telling me that I need to leave the past behind. 

Why?  Why would I do this?  

The past is filled with a rich, wonderful, instructive tapestry of precious life.  Why would I leave it behind?  

Absolutely everything about me today, who and what I am in this moment is the result of absolutely every moment that came before this moment. 

Without the past I am not me, I am not here, there is no now.  If I had a different past I would be a different me; and now would be a different now. 

I can only experience the now because of every moment that preceded the now. Every current neuron in my brain developed, was strengthened or weakened in the past.  All of my perceptions of the now were formed by my past.  

—> The value of self-reflection is in discovering how the past is informing this moment in the here and now; and it really is. 

When I am sitting in the forest in this moment I am experiencing the forest in a way that has been shaped by, that is only possible because of every single moment of my past. 

 I cannot experience the forest in this moment as I do without my past. It is so much richer and more meaningful.   I know what sound that is (a little red squirrel chattering high in the tree or a chick-a-dee calling out my chick-a-dee name) because of my past. I know what that rich, wonderful smell is because of my past.  That smell is linked to my past. It evokes memories of my childhood adventures in the forest or a hike I did with a loved one or alone. The smell is so much richer because of its ties to my past. 

I know which forest friends are all around me because of my past. That is my friend the oak tree, over there is my friend the pine tree, this beautiful friend is a fern, this is my friend a trillium, my friends the snake, the toad, the newt.  Oh, watch out for the poison ivy, a danger I only know about in the here and now because of my past.  Step around that little toxic friend.  I know the call of the eagle soaring far above out of  sight because of my past.

In remembering the past (“the good times, the bad times, you know I’ve had my share”), I am thinking about all of the friends that I’ve had over the years, the gift of love, kindness, adventure, learning, laughter, patience, and forgiveness they each have given me along the way, this IS my moment in the here and now. 

 I think about my past love partners fairly often. I can feel them indelibly marked inside of me, the gift of love they gave to me. It’s still there. Their love is still inside me, still shaping my heart and mind. Their warmth and caring fills me in this moment and I so appreciate the past time during which they shared some part of their journey with me.

I think about the mean fuckers too, how much I learned so much from them. I would not leave them behind in my past.  They inform my compassion and understanding of struggle and distress. I am kinder and gentler because of them, and a bit tougher too. 

Thank you childhood mean fuckers. I appreciate you. And, lest I forget, I was a mean fucker too.  

I woke up at 3;30 AM recently and sat on my bed, sobbing. I love and miss Val so very much.  I would never leave her behind in the past. Val comes with me. Val is a very real and important part of my very loving relationship today with Bridget; and so too are May, Aileen, Linda, and so on.  (I’m not naming everyone, but yes, I so truly and deeply appreciate you too.) These wonderful, loving people are all here, all a wonderful and rich part of my past and an important part of who I am today.  

In the here and now, I might be sobbing about a grievous loss, smiling about a fun adventure, feeling some past loving moment shared.  This is my moment, my rich moment is my here and now. 

I would not give this rich, priceless  moment of time recalling some aspect of my past up for anything.  

***

Some folks might get concerned because I post the past. I don’t necessarily post how wonderful my current life is.  I don’t post my plans for the future, my future trepidations, and anticipation of a wonderful life ahead.  I don’t post my thoughts in preparation for my eventual death (not imminent, hopefully, but one never knows). 

When you hike high up in the mountains, do you not stop now and then to rest and to see all the wonderful views in all directions? The trail behind, how beautiful and rigorous it was. The trail ahead, how beautiful and rigorous it will be. The mountains off in the distance to left and right, the trails not taken today. The beautiful sky above?  The tiny particles making up the ground below and the solid granite beneath your feet that has been right here for eons.  

How amazing and beautiful. I am standing on a planet traveling is space that is here now in this moment and has been for billions of years.  This moment is so much richer and more meaningful because of the billions of years of preceding existence. 

The plants and animals all around.  Is the trail behind you not worthy of deep thought in this moment?

The Glorious Vision

 The Glorious Vision

Senior  managers often have a beautiful vision … that becomes degraded, distorted, muddled, mangled, and tangled up as it passes down through the human layers toward the bottom of the organizational structure, where the workers who really need it most in order to make it happen never see it in all its glorious clarity. 

The senior managers have to manage the transmission of  the vision personally. It’s not a “fire and forget it” issue. 

In order to make it happen, it has to be actively kept out in front, at the top of the weekly conversation all the time. 

It will need to be de-muddled, de-mangled, and de-tangled on a regular basis. Even small deviations will need to be actively managed. 

It’s not that the middle tier is populated by bad people, just that it is populated by human people who are largely poorly trained and endowed with regular human flaws, stressors, shortcomings, etc. 

~ The middle tier needs its morale to be managed up, elevated regularly. 

~ The middle tier needs to hear the clarity of the glorious vision repeatedly. 

~ The middle tier needs to be trained in delivering and maintaining the vision every week. 

Human people need ongoing training g and support. 

If you neglect your people, they will neglect your vision.

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Ski Resort: Money Back Guarantee

 I proposed to the president of a New England ski resort that  a Money Back Guarantee be field tested on non-holiday, non-weekend days in January and February. 

The guarantee would be limited to equipment failure. If the resort’s equipment failed while the mountain was open,  customers impacted by the failure would be eligible to request a refund if they were dissatisfied. 

Equipment failure is a customer experienced defect, a relational discourager. 

I proposed that the resort’s maintenance team implement a proactive preventative maintenance program to sharply reduce equipment failures, reducing the number of defects the customer’s encountered. 

I proposed that the resort would be able to self-fund this guarantee by adding $1.00 to the price of every ticket sold. 

In researching money back guarantees, companies  (not ski resorts) that offer them can charge significantly more than competitors for the same product or service, in some cases 300% more. 

Equipment failures rarely impact all of the skiers visiting a resort. Only a small portion of all the skiers on any given day would be impacted, unless equipment failures were wide spread.  

I proposed that the idea be tested on non-holiday, non-weekend days to see how many customers would request their money back. Data collected would establish to the cost of the program and whether the $1.00 ticket price boost would cover the refund costs. 

I proposed that the money back guarantee would give the ski resort a competitive advantage over other New England Ski Resorts. 

What’s wrong with this idea? 

Your thoughts will be appreciated. 

#NewHampshire #NewEngland 

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Ski Resort: Customer Experience Cycle

 A Typical New England Ski Area

 ***

Customers flow through this cycle beginning with “select your resort” to visit.  There are many ski resorts in New England to pick from. 

~ Why would they pick yours? Why might they not? 

In general, once they choose to ski at your resort, they enter your Macro Cycle. There are steps you can control and steps you cannot control. 

1. Travel to your location (no control)

2. Embarkation (arriving, off-loading, parking, etc.)

3. Base Lodge

4. Purchase Ticket (unless pass holder)

5. Rentals

7. Lessons

8. Lift Operations

9. Snow (making, grooming, etc.)

10. Weather (no control)

11. Disembarkation (pack up, get car, load gear, drive away)

Each step is a potential point of contact and an opportunity for the customer to be satisfied or disappointed.  

While you cannot control the travel experience, it does impact how the customers arrive.  Are they stressed / not stressed when they first enter your zone of responsibility. 

The first point of contact may be the “Welcome to …” sign. This is your first opportunity to impress your arriving customers. How does your sign look? Is it clear, bright, well maintained? Are directions provided guiding the customer toward the off-loading area and available parking? Is the pavement intact, cleared of snow and ice? 

Is the off-loading area well organized and efficient. Are customers able to easily navigate this process? 

Next is parking, then Base Lodge? 

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Relational Encouragers & Discouragers.

 Relational Encouragers & Discouragers

How are your relationships with your loved ones, friends, customers doing? 

***

Relational encouragers are small, sometimes imperceptible things that gradually strengthen a relationship bringing people closer together over time.  Relational encouragers heal a relationship after a fracture.  They might be a hug, a smile, a gentle touch, an apology, affectionate eye contact, etc.  Small gestures. 

Relational discouragers are small, sometimes imperceptible things that gradually weaken a relationship. Relational discouragers make things worse after fracture. These might look like an eye roll, an exasperated exhale, physically distancing, an irritated tone.  Small gestures. 

Relational discouragers are defects.

Across time after exposure to multiple relational encouragers and / or discouragers, combinations of both, relationships become closer, stronger, or they move further apart, become weaker, some eventually breaking and ending. 

Now, consider your employees and customers.  Are you using more relational encouragers or more relational discouragers?  Are you strengthening relationships or weakening them? 

How does your customer retention and expansion look?  Are they as good as they could be? How does your employee retention, morale, tardiness and absenteeism look?  Are these indicators as good as they could be? 

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Performance Improvement: Self Mastery

 To master your performance, you must master your self. 

To master your self, you must master your subconscious.  

Your subconscious is driving everything.  

What are your subconscious thoughts on this idea? 

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Parenting Is: Continuous Quality Improvement

Parenting Is: Continuous Quality Improvement

The very best response to the vast majority of children’s misbehavior is a simple, quiet conversation moderated by reason, wisdom, and compassion; a conversation that guides the child quietly and gently to a better, more helpful place in life.  

Raising children is a long, gradual process.  It takes years and years of patient and persistent effort. Gentle guidance is the primary choice in parenting. 

Sometimes a planned system of positive and negative consequences makes sense.  This is not a system of rewards and punishment, so to speak, but a well crafted system of inductive consequences; constructive and instructive consequences that gradually teach better behavior, better problem solving skill, and better decision-making skill.

Arbitrary and / or harsh consequences should be avoided.  They are far more likely to inflame the situation and create resentment within the child which will obscure any learning benefit.   

It is far more likely that arbitrary and / or harsh consequences will increase misbehavior, rather than decrease it, and also decrease the frequency of positive behaviors.

Everything in life is practice to mastery.  Everyone needs the opportunity to practice new skills gradually over time in order to master them.  Everyone makes mistakes and needs the opportunity to practice making amends and to practice regrouping and moving forward again. 

Instructive, constructive, and reparative consequences gradually influence thinking, feeling, and behaving in a productive direction.  

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com