Parenting Is: Continuous Quality Improvement

Parenting Is: Continuous Quality Improvement

The very best response to the vast majority of children’s misbehavior is a simple, quiet conversation moderated by reason, wisdom, and compassion; a conversation that guides the child quietly and gently to a better, more helpful place in life.  

Raising children is a long, gradual process.  It takes years and years of patient and persistent effort. Gentle guidance is the primary choice in parenting. 

Sometimes a planned system of positive and negative consequences makes sense.  This is not a system of rewards and punishment, so to speak, but a well crafted system of inductive consequences; constructive and instructive consequences that gradually teach better behavior, better problem solving skill, and better decision-making skill.

Arbitrary and / or harsh consequences should be avoided.  They are far more likely to inflame the situation and create resentment within the child which will obscure any learning benefit.   

It is far more likely that arbitrary and / or harsh consequences will increase misbehavior, rather than decrease it, and also decrease the frequency of positive behaviors.

Everything in life is practice to mastery.  Everyone needs the opportunity to practice new skills gradually over time in order to master them.  Everyone makes mistakes and needs the opportunity to practice making amends and to practice regrouping and moving forward again. 

Instructive, constructive, and reparative consequences gradually influence thinking, feeling, and behaving in a productive direction.  

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Our Little Thought Gremlins

 

Our Little Thought Gremlins 

Most of your thoughts emerge into your awareness from your subconscious.  

You felt it happen when you read that statement.  You had  some sort of instant reaction.  Perhaps it was barely perceptible or maybe it was a quite strong thought.  

• “That’s bunk!” 

• “Hmmm, that’s interesting.”

What was your first thought?  

Where did it come from? It wasn’t there. You read the statement.  Suddenly, it was there in the blink of an eye. 

This happens in simple, unimportant scenarios like this, but it also happens in your personal relationships, your parental relationships, your work relationships, your random interactions with strangers, even with your self. 

Watch what thought leaps instantly into your head the next time you spill your coffee on your nice shirt.  “I am such a dingus!”  

A person cuts you off on the highway. A thought or series of thoughts jumps immediately into your awareness.  Suddenly you’re angry, perhaps.  Where did these thoughts come from? 

What happens to you when you get cut off on the highway or spill your coffee?   What thought(s) leap immediately to mind? Where do these thoughts come from? 

Your instant subconscious reactions, the millions of them that occur every day are guiding your along your path, influencing the decisions you make.  

Your subconscious may be more influential in creating your outcomes than is comfortable to acknowledge.

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Kindness

 

The kindnesses you have shared with others over the years of your lifetime have left in people tiny packages, like little gifts of warm love on a cold winter night.

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

 

Unlocking Your Potential: Cultivating a Growth Mindset

Have you ever felt limited by the belief that your abilities are fixed? That you're either born with certain talents or you are not? This fixed mindset can hold you back from reaching your full potential.

But what if I told you that you can change your brain? That you can cultivate a growth mindset, where you believe that your abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work?

How to Cultivate a Growth Mindset

• Embrace Challenges: Actively seek out new challenges and step outside your comfort zone. 
• Focus on Effort: Celebrate your hard work and acknowledge the progress you've made.

• Learn from Mistakes: View mistakes as learning opportunities. Analyze what went wrong and how you can do things differently next time. 

•  Seek and Value Feedback: Actively solicit feedback from others and use it to improve. 

• Find Inspiration in Others: Celebrate the successes of others and use them as motivation for your own growth.o 

• Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during setbacks. Acknowledge your efforts and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes.

The Benefits of a Growth Mindset

Cultivating a growth mindset can have a profound impact on your life. It can:

• Boost your motivation and resilience: You'll be more likely to persevere through challenges and bounce back from setbacks. 

• Improve your learning: You'll be more open to new ideas and willing to experiment with different approaches. 

• Enhance your relationships: You'll be more empathetic and understanding of others. 

• Increase your overall well-being: You'll feel more confident and in control of your own destiny.

Start Today

Developing a growth mindset is an ongoing journey. Start small by identifying one area of your life where you can apply these principles. Celebrate your progress and remember that consistent effort will lead to lasting change.

What are some ways you can start cultivating a growth mindset in your own life? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

***

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice.

I hope this blog post is helpful! Let me know if you'd like me to expand on any of these points.

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Difficulty: Face, Confront, Overcome

 Face, Confront, Overcome. 

Some people practice avoiding difficulties. This is understandable. Difficulties can really suck. However, the skill refined by practicing avoiding difficulty is … avoiding difficulty. 

The skill we really want to practice is navigating and overcoming difficulty. 

When this skill is strengthened, we can be more selective in choosing which difficulties to take on to our best advantage and which difficulties to circumnavigate*. 

It becomes a choice. Having the skill set empowers us to choose. Not having the skill set leaves us with no option but to avoid difficulty. 

*Circumnavigating is not the same as avoiding. There are many ways to deal with an obstacle to continue our journey. Avoiding dealing with the obstacle isn’t one of them. 

K. H. Little Consulting Services

Kenneth H. Little, MA

cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com

Critical Feedback: Receiving

 Critical feedback elevates performance. 

It is our professional responsibility to practice and improve accepting critical feedback. 

***

The better we get at receiving critical feedback the more value we gain from it and the better our performance becomes. 

—> Accepting even harsh critical feedback is a professional skill set. 

Practice to mastery leads to improvement. The more you practicing accepting critical feedback the better you will get at receiving critical feedback. 

This is our professional responsibility to our own professional development. 

#NewHampshire #Feedback

Nothing Less Than Your Very Best

 

I use to work inside this horribly depressed, angry, agitated company. 

Ironically, it was a mental health facility. 

***

I’ve never seen so many employees return from meetings with a particularly abusive senior manager crying. This is super duper HR fail. It is a super senior management team fail. It is a super leadership fail. And, it is a super big board of directors fail.

But it was not just this one toxic senior manager.  It was the organization as a whole. I’ve never seen so much inter-personnel animosity. I’ve never seen so much wide-spread demoralization anywhere, at any company I’ve ever worked at over my decades of work experience. 

This was quite simply the worst place I have ever worked. 

The senior manager, although super abusive and toxic, wasn’t responsible for the wide-spread demoralization and hostility throughout the company. He certainly was injecting a ton more yuck into the company, but he didn’t touch all of its moving parts. There was a much larger organizational problem. Ironically, he was screaming at people about not meeting productivity requirements.

#Morale matters. Everything floats on morale. Productivity isn’t improved by yelling.  Morale isn’t improved by yelling.  Employee absenteeism, tardiness, and retention are not improved by yelling.  Just the opposite, in fact.

Nothing is improved by yelling. 

At the time, I was navigating a super stressful life adventure. My wife had died (#Cancersucks) and I was raising our young sons by myself. I was so, so far out of my comfort zone and my zone of competence at home every single day for years and years. 

So, what did I do?  I quit after about three years, but before that every morning before going into work, I sat in my car in the parking lot looking at the office building getting my head straight, getting myself psyched up before entering the building. I did the same thing before every rugby game I played in college. I was determined to only bring positive professionalism into the building - my very best. 

My colleagues deserved nothing less than my very best. 

I did the same thing on the way home from work, letting go of the daily stress I’d accumulated and getting my head straight before going into our home. 

My sons deserved nothing less than my very best. 

Of course, I’m a flawed human so … it didn’t always go well, but when it didn’t I’d regroup, consider where I’d gone wrong,  what the contributing factors had been, and create a corrective action plan.

K. H. Little Consulting Services
Kenneth H. Little, MA
cell: (603) 726-1006

kenlittle-nh.com